Falling off the Wagon and cute baby pics

OMG!  I really fell off the wagon this weekend!  I was doing pretty well, not a whole lot of cheating, but last week was that time, you know, and I totally gorged on some peanut m & m's that a home care rep brought in to work!  Darn it!  I felt physically sick afterwards and wanted to hurl, but I couldn't bring myself to go the bulimia route.  If I was going to be bulimic I should've done it years ago.  Anorexia was never my thing either.  I like food waaayy too much to not eat anything.  The peanut m&m's incident was on Friday night, and that just paved the way for a terrible eating weekend!  We went to the Erin Feis with my mom , and Reilly wanted to eat everything!  She wanted hot dogs and potato pancakes and ice cream and popcorn and scones...  Needless to say I ate all of it too.  Except for the ice cream.  I actually had only a bite of hers.  But that doesn't excuse all the rest of it.  Eating healthy is hard.  Hard hard work.  The walking has kinda fallen by the wayside too.  I am still keeping up with my food diary though.  I don't feel like a total failure!  On a lighter note, my baby is going to be 2 on Thursday.  I know, 2. It doesn't seem like it has been that long.  It also doesn't seem like I'm(now) 40 lbs heavier than I was back then.  I'm still going to keep this up.  I WILL do this.  At work they have an employee incentive program called Team Lean.  You get a team of 4 people together and you try to lose weight. You get a free membership to the Wellness Center during the program, and the team that loses the most weight by the end gets money!  I like money.  It starts this week with a weigh-in.  Wish me luck!  Here's some pics of my baby when he was a baby. Awwwww...

The day after we came home from the hospital

Max at 4 months, look at his chubby baby rolls.  So cute!

The Beatles, The Smurfs and New Crayons

My Food Diary

Boy oh boy, I've been busy.  I was so busy for the last few days I hardly had time to do anything, let alone write in my blog!  But I'm back, and still fighting the good fight!  :)   I've realized that by not being as strict on myself I cheat. A lot.  Just a tad here and there, but all those tads add up.  Probably to a ton extra calories a day.  So, I'm back to being very strict with myself.  I finally bought a notebook to use as my food diary.  It's so cute. It has the Beatles Yellow Submarine on it, which is one of my favorite songs/groups!  I haven't started writing in it yet today, but I've only eaten a bowl of cereal so far today, oh, and some raisins.  I do have a funny/proud moment to share with you guys today.  Did you all know that McDonald's is giving away Smurf toys with the Happy Meals?  I LOVE SMURFS!  It was my favorite show when I was a kid!  I decided that I wanted to collect as many Smurfs as I could.  So last Sunday we were coming home from my brothers house and I decided for lunch we would all get Happy Meals so I could have Smurfs.  I ordered 5 and sadly I got all the same one.  Bummer!  I traded them for different ones later though so it worked out.  After we made it home I sat down at the computer and was going to do some stuff, and all of a sudden I felt horribly sick to my stomach.  I was actually doubled over in agony.  My favorite fast-food had made me ill.  It was a sad realization for me.  Before I started the Food War, I had eaten it probably once a week, maybe more.  Now that I hadn't had in in over a month it made me sick.  It made me wonder what the food is really made of.  So, later
that day I realized that I had a couple of cousins that worked at McDonald's.  I texted one of em and she hooked me up with 8 of them.  And I didn't even have to buy the food!  Did you know that you can get just the toys without the food?  That made me excited.  So there's my Smurf collection.  I missed out on a Papa Smurf though.  So now I have all these Smurfs who have no leader( I hope they can behave themselves.).  :)
The walking has hit a stagnant phase already.  If y'all don't know, I have an etsy shop too.  I've had a few special orders to finish up this week, and since I work second shift I have to use my mornings to sew.  It's a toss up for me, because I love the walks, but I love making money too!  What's a girl to do?  It looks like rain today, both outside and on the radar, so I probably won't be walking today either.  Maybe a short one around the block.  I'll let you know.  The baby has figured out that he really really likes coloring.  He first discovered it outside with the chalk.  Then his sissy showed him how to use crayons. He loves them!  The regular size crayons kept breaking, so yesterday I got him some washable large crayons(washable because he has colored on the wall a few times.  On his daddy's watch of course!) and I figured the large ones would be easier for his chubby lil fingers to hold.  He was so excited when I showed him the box this morning.  So right now he is happily coloring while I blog.   See his face?  The owies on it?  That was caused by his loving sister when she ran out of the house and slammed into him with the screen door.  She was so excited to go to her friends house that she went flying out the door and boom...right into Max's head.  He screamed so much.  Hubby said he did an aerial 360! Wow that door must have hit him pretty hard. Poor Baby.  He's good now though.  He's tough.  My little handsome man is going to have some scars!  Oh well,

he is rough and tumble!  Well, if I'm ever gonna get all the stuff in that I need to do today I need to wrap this up.  My list is never ending and I swear the laundry procreates while it's in the basement! So this is enough for now.  Have a great day and eat healthy(er) y'all!!

Is it time? How about now? Now?

It's the first day of school! Yay! Sometimes I think moms enjoy it better than kids.  The nice quietness of the house after the big kids leave.  The baby and I hanging out together, he's still the baby even though he's almost 2!  You should've seen how excited Reilly was to go back to school.  She got up at 7 on the dot, got dressed and ate breakfast all before 7:30.  Then she had to wait.  School doesn't start here until 8:45.  She was so excited she couldn't even sit still!  Here she is in the shirt I made for her.

Reilly in her handmade Reversible Tunic

I still remember my first day of fourth grade.  My mom has a picture of me getting on the school bus in a vintage dress!  I know, I wore vintage before it was cool!  Earlier that summer my other grandma (different from yesterday's post) had given me some vintage dresses she found in her basement.  They were very 40's play dresses and I loved them.  I would have lived in them if my mom had let me.  I always loved the fist day of school.  The new school supplies, backpack and lunchbox.  We got a new one every year.  My kids got expensive, nice backpacks the year Reilly started kindergarten, and will have to use them until they fall apart.  This is the first year for lunchboxes though!  Ever since my daughter has started school she has gotten free lunches.  So now that I finally finished school and have a real job, we do not get that anymore, and she has to take a cold lunch.  I'm kinda happy about that because it fits into my new healthy eating lifestyle.  The school lunches she gets are not known for their nutritional value.  So she got a lunchbox that is yellow and has a monkey on it and we've mapped out the gist of what she wants for lunch.  Believe it or not she cannot stand PB&J! It's almost sacreligious!  She has decided however that she wants some cheese and fruit and carrots with ranch!  I'm so proud of her for making those good food choices.  I'm going to put a thick slice of homemade bread in there for her too!  She will be the healthiest eating kid at her school.  This means that some of this new lifestyle is getting through to her.  I just hope we can keep it up for the rest of the year.  On a very different note, I was at work yesterday and surprise!, someone has brought in doughnuts.  I did so well with them all night, I would look at the box, then away, then go find something to do...yada yada yada.  Until 10 pm...I couldn't resist any longer...I ate the jelly out of a jelly doughnut.  Sucked is more like it!  Slurp slurp!  I felt very guilty afterward, but the temptation was so strong.  Oh well...I will be better today.  Hopefully the doughnuts will be gone and I won't be tempted by them.    Here's another cute shot of her pushing the stroller to school with her baby brother

in it.  I secretly think she will miss him while she is gone.  I know he will miss her.  They only have school for an hour today, and they just walked in the door...so, time to ask them about their day and hear all about what friends are in their classes and who's not.   Kids are so funny!  I know she's sad though because her best friend has moved away.  Her name was on the board outside the classroom, but she is going to a different school.  I told Ry she would still see her, because I have her mom's phone number and they can text!  She's happy about that.  Her little friend Sara is in her class, so that makes it a tad better.  Happy back to school to you all, and let's have a healthier, happier year!

Does this dress make me look fat? No, it's the fat that makes you look fat.

Our street as we start our walk

Yesterday was the first day of my walks.  I took the kids and we went walking for about 3 hours.  It was so lovely outside.  A tad hot in the sun, and I got a little burnt, but totally worth it.  I'm feeling better already! (Not really, I'm sore as heck!)  We walked from our house up to Prospect Ave, which is this street full of little shops and restaurants.  I love browsing them, but I really miss The Velvet Freeze.  It was a little restaurant that had the best tamales.  My grandma used to take me there when I was little.  We'd also go to the Ben Franklin to get a toy or something else fun!  I miss that place, and my grandma.  As much as I loved her she was one of the first people who insinuated that I was fat.  Chunky or chubby, is how they used to say it.  I always thought "am I peanut butter?"  When I was about 12 I went over to my grandma's house to get some fun hand-me-downs from Aunt Zannie( my young, fun Aunt).  There were bags of clothes.  It was heaven for me!  She always had on the most fun stuff and I couldn't wait.  My favorite thing in the bag was a black knit jumper/dress with a ruffle around the waist.  I tried it on very excitedly...only to have my grandma say it was too tight and made me look chunky and that I should let my younger cousin have it.  That definitely wasn't the first time I realized I was overweight, but it paved the way for the rest of my life.  Guess what size I wore?  7.  At that point I figured I was so horribly fat that it wouldn't matter anymore.  I was way wrong.  On my 16th birthday my parents took me out for dinner.  We were having a good time and talking about what we wanted when we grew up.  My mom actually said to me that she never wanted a fat daughter.  No wonder I have issues.  I wonder that if none of that would have been said, would I be a different person?  I might have been a healthier person.  But I'll never know now.  It's in the past.  But look to your children, they learn about the world from you.  If your 3 year old daughter hears you talk about how fat you are and blah,blah, blah.  She will grow up thinking she's always fat.  When you hate your hair, eyes, insert body part here________, she learns to hate that part too.  As a child I barely remember my mom eating anything.  We had a breakfast bar that had 4 seats.  That was her excuse for not eating with us.  To this day my mom still thinks she's horribly fat.  I think she's in a 5, maybe?  At our dinner table it was a race to finish and get seconds, because they're weren't enough seconds for everybody.  At my house now, there is rarely any seconds.  I only make enough food for everyone to have a regular portion.   Food is not there to be gorged upon, it is fuel for your body.  It allows you to run and jump, and ride bikes.  Your children will eat what you do.  It might be a struggle at first, but eventually they will eat.  And I promise they will not starve to death in the process.The bottom line is that we are the best role models for our children. They only act how they are taught and it is never too young to learn how to be comfortable in your body, and to have a healthy relationship with food.  Sometimes I wish I had been taught that as a child.  Here's some other pictures from our walk together.  (I let Reilly have the camera.)

Little Store off Prospect

The Peoria Heights Water tower

The beautiful sky above our home

Let's go for a Walk(finally)

Blood Pressure Chart

Yesterday was a pretty good day.  I got up early and got a whole bunch of stuff done. Yay!  I baked some gooey brownies for my family then it was off to work.  I was kind feeling a tad dizzy yesterday, but I figured it was just the vertigo being cheeky again so I took a pill and forgot about it.  As the night progresses I kept feeling even more dizzy and just kinda funny.  I felt tired and like all my limbs were weighed down.  It was kinda freaking me out.  I was wondering if somebody had spiked my kool-aid.  One of my co-workers asked me if I was tired because I sounded that way on the phone.  I kept hoping that I wouldn't fall down or hit my head on the wall...because that was how I was feeling.  Then I has an "aha" moment!  Low blood pressure can cause all these symptoms.  Dizziness, lethargy, confusion, I had all of them.  I have yet to call the doctor today, but I'm not going to be surprised when my BP is low.  I still feel the same way this morning, not quite as bad though.  As of yesterday my healthy eating plan is back to normal.  I had one piece of toast with butter for breakfast, an egg salad sandwich for lunch with a 1 inch brownie square for dessert, and a chicken breast with mixed veggies with an apple for dinner.  Later at work I ate a glazed doughnut because I thought I needed the energy(turns out it wasn't just tiredness).  Anyway, I've decided not to completely cut myself off from sugar because it would make me insane, I'm just not eating candy.  Candy was the number one worst thing I ate.  Once I started I couldn't stop.  I would eat all of what I had then search the house for more.  No wonder I'm fat and unhealthy!  Now that the heat has subsided I'm going to take the kids for walks with me. In fact, I think we will go on one later today.  Maybe we will walk up to the grocery store and get some more bananas(and some diet Pepsi).  Walking is a great form of exercise.  Any walking you do in your everyday life doesn't count though.  It has to be above and beyond the normal routine.  Even just 30 minutes 3 times a week is helpful.  Hopefully the weight loss I've achieved so far will continue, and be sped up by my walking!  I'm going to let Reilly take the camera and take pictures along the way.  I'll post some tomorrow! Here's a funny cartoon I found for you!  That would be my hubby and son!  :D

Under Pressure

...Pressure pushing down on me, Pressing down on you no man ask for, Under pressure...Hey friends...so sorry it's been three days since I last posted anything.  Ever since I was sick, I'm finding it harder and harder to eat healthier.  I am at my brothers house today for my nephew's birthday party, and I actually ate so much I felt sick.  So of course I immediately stopped eating and went for a walk.  It wasn't a very far walk, but at least it was a walk.  I felt a little better, and even now as I type this I still feel very full.  That's definitely a problem for me.  I've been doing so well, but obviously when I get around my family I have to be more vigilant about eating better.  Granted it wasn't unhealthy stuff I was eating, it was just so good I ate too much of it.  For breakfast today I had 2(or3) banana/strawberry pancakes, for lunch I had some homemade bread and a banana, and for dinner I ate a cheeseburger w/o bun, some cheesy potatoes and broccoli slaw.  These are some of my favorite things to eat.  I felt really guilty for cheating.  So as of tomorrow the count-up begins again.  I was almost to a month of healthy eating.  I've also decided to keep a food diary.  It will be a good was to keep track of what I'm eating.  You'd be surprised at how much food you actually eat when you see it all down there on paper.  Last Tuesday I went to my doctor to have blood work and stuff done, and my blood pressure was high(normal is around 120/80, I was 145/85.  For the diabetic they want the top number under 130.), it had been high at a few previous appointments, so she put me on blood pressure meds.  Yikes!  Up until I gained all this weight and had a baby my BP was perfectly normal.  Did you know that gaining weight can cause high BP?  And that having it can put you at risk for all kinds of other problems in your body?  High BP causes much more than just heart problems.  It can cause arteriosclerosis, which is the hardening of your arteries.  Which causes them to become more narrow and move less blood.  You can also get an aneurysm, coronary artery disease, enlarged left heart,  stroke, dementia, kidney failure, kidney scarring, kidney artery aneurysm, eye blood vessel damage, fluid build-up under the retina, eye nerve damage, and it can even cause sexual dysfunction. I didn't even know it could cause

Fancy AM/PM Pill Box

all of that stuff to happen!  This Mayo clinic website can tell you in more detail about all those things I just listed.  It's pretty scary when you think about it.  I already have eye problems from the diabetes, so now to find out that high BP can cause more is crazy to me.  I do know one very important thing about having high BP...it causes headaches.  Since Max was born I've had the most terrible headaches and I wake up with them, and go to sleep with them and they stink.  I really hope the meds work because I'm very sick of these headaches. What I really hope is that once I lose more weight my BP will go back to normal so I can stop taking it.  I swear that I'm starting to feel like my mom, with all the meds I have to take.  I think I need to get one of those pill boxes, with the slots for am and pm. On that note, I must say goodnight, and thanks for reading! oxox

DOH-nuts!

Mmmmmm...doughnut...

I am the best/worst mom ever!  Yesterday I had a doctors appt.  You all know how hectic it can be to get all of the kids ready to go somewhere at the same time: this time I had to be there at 7:30 am.  I know, crazy early, right!  I was so late I didn't get to feed them before we left.  They were so well behaved while I was at the doctors office that I thought they deserved a reward.  It's not easy to sit and wait for you mom to get done with her Dr's appt, and have absolutely nothing to do yourself.  So on the way home I stopped at Kroger's and got them, dun dun dun, doughnuts.  I know, I know...definitely not the best choice, but way better than a bagel.  And they only had one each.  I had one too.  And that's it.  I only ate one doughnut for breakfast!  Before the Food War that was unthinkable.  I would've eaten the doughnut, and all sorts of other things, possibly some fast food! *gasp*  So, this is a real win situation for me!  My vertigo is slowly receding and I'm starting to feel a bit more like myself, rather than this crazed sick monster that I was for the past week.  YAY!   So, let's get back to why a doughnut is better than a bagel.  Bagels are very dense, which means that there is more stuff inside a bagel.  Compare that to a doughnut, with all that air and space inside and you can start to picture it, right.  Eating one bagel with cream cheese is comparable to eating 5 or more slices of bread! Holy Cow! So those bagels I had for dinner weren't really that good for me.  Oh well, the past is in the past!!  The doughnut does have more sugar, but the bagel has wwaaaaayyy more carbs.  For me, the diabetic, cutting carbs is the way to be healthier.  The typical doughnut has 20 g of carbs compared to the typical bagel at 71g!!! Unbelievable!!  From now on, I can say that I will definitely skip bagels(unless its those bagel thins, those are pretty good) but I may have a doughnut every now and again...because doughnuts are yummy.   As far as the rest of the day...pretty uneventful. a PB&J for lunch, and a chicken breast with baked sweet potato bites for dinner.  The cafeteria had no apples(I know, it made me sad)  so I had some cantaloupe.  Because this is about me getting healthy.  All this talk about food is making me hungry, that's what I get for blogging before breakfast!!  I'm going to go eat now.  I'd like to leave you with a picuture of my family at the beach in Florida, which is where we had our vacation in June.  Today looks to be a beautiful day here in the Midwest, so I may have to go outside and play with my kids!

This is where I would like to be...Indian Shores Beach, FL