Fat A**

I was at work yesterday and I was thinking about my life. About my lifelong struggle with fatness.

In Jr. High I was fat.

As a teen I was fat.

In my 20's I was fat.

I've just always been fat.

As they say, I ate my feelings.

(I must have had a lot of feelings.)

It has always been within my power to change.

I just don't.

I like food way to much.

I feel like my life is pretty much on it's downward spiral.  I'm going to be 35 this year, and I'm married and I have 2 children.  Growing up it always seemed like being fat kept me from the things I should have experienced as a teen and/or a 20 something.

When I was younger it never occurred to me that guys could actually like fat girls.  I always felt like I had to lose weight in order to get what I thought I wanted.  In the end I did finally get some boyfriends, and ended up having kids.

Go figure...

(Really f-ed up self esteem too.)

So now, on the downward spiral why should I bother trying to lose weight?  Nothing is going to change.

My health is screwed up, I eat too much because I like food, and I still eat my feelings.

(Just not as many.)

I guess I'm trying to set a good example for my children, but sometimes I just like food more. 

So here is my

Question of the Day:

Persevere or Quit?



Getting It Together Part II

Here is the second part to getting my stuff organized for the new year.  I finally got my DH to put together the cubeicals organizer that I got myself, and it looks great!

It fits right on top of the existing shelving unit that I have there.  Now, I just have to work on really organizing the shelves.  Most of them are filled with similar use items, but what is really great is that I can finally see almost all of my stuff at one time! Yay!

I've also decided that since someday I will have a room of my own to put my sewing stuff in that it will have my favorite color theme...

PINK!

With white and black accents.

It will be sooo pretty when it is done.  Someday...

For now, I make do with the back corner of the house.  It has tons of light, which is great, but it is kinda chilly in the winter.  Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.

It's my little slice of heaven...now if I could only use it uninterrupted.  :)

(P.S.  It is never this clean, just for the pictures.)

Now I'm off to the gym...

for some yoga...

maybe...

;P

Pop Tarts and Personal Trainers

We finally met with a personal trainer (to give us a gym orientation) on Saturday.  She showed us how to use all the machines and stuff.  It was very educational.  I'm not sure how many of the weight machines I am going to use, but I love the elliptical!  After she finished we did 30 minutes.

I went 2 miles! 

In 30 minutes!

I felt great!

Until I woke up the next morning...

I was sore in places that I didn't even know had muscles!

The back of my knee, for example.

I'm not really sure which muscle it is, but it's crazy sore.
I checked an anatomy website and I'm thinking

it is probably the hamstring, because that is where the pain is.

I was walking like an old man yesterday.  It hurts to stretch out my leg...but I'm going again today.  What I really need to do is learn how to stretch out properly afterward.

That will be my next post I guess.

On another note...

I love Pop Tarts...

Almost any flavor...

I could probably eat some pop tarts for every meal,

every day.

So, over the years I have learned not to buy them.  If I do buy them, I eat waaaaaaayy too many of them.

(Because 1 is too many!)

I broke down on Sunday and got some.

Big Mistake!

Let's just say that I consumed more Pop-Tarts yesterday than most people should ever.  I felt very disappointed in myself, especially after having no birthday cake or ice cream at all three of the parties I went to this week.  I guess you could say that Pop-Tarts are my food nemesis.

And the battle wages on!!! Down with unhealthy food!

Up with fruits and veggies!!!

Get it Together in 2012

Hi there! There's a blog I read called Crap I've Made, and she has asked us to share in some projects/ideas with her this year.  Sooooo, since her first one has to do with organizing her papers, I thought I'd share my ideas with you all too!

Since I pay all the household bills, I needed a place to be on top of things.  I pay most of my bills online,

(I like to procrastinate)

I like the instantaneousness(is that even a word)

of online payments too.

My command center!

That is my desk.  It is not always that organized, but it is most of the time.  That is where I surf the net and pay the bills.

The binder on the left is where I put all the papers.

My first step to cutting the paper clutter is...

Sort it as soon as you get it out of the mailbox.

My mailbox is across the street, so by the time I get inside I already know what goes in recycling, what goes in the magazines/catalogs, and what goes on the desk.

Bill Binder

The mail goes on top of the binder.  From there it all gets opened and placed in the inside front pocket.

Then the date it is due gets put on the calendar.

(also inside the binder)

Front Pocket and Calendar(I need a new one still!)

After it is paid I write the date I payed it, and it goes in the corresponding file folder in the binder.

File Folders

This process usually takes me a couple of days to do, but what really helps cut down on all the paper is e-bills.  I get every statement I can sent to me online.  That cuts down on the amount of paper that comes into my house every month.

And

I LOVE IT!

I'm being greener that way too.

Another problem she has is how to organize her address book.

I use my phone.

Verizon has this great tool called My Contacts Backup.

It connects with my phone every night about 1 am, and saves all my contact info.  Every night!

Addresses included!

It's a dream come true for me!

My next plan is to organize the disaster that I call my sewing stuff.

Wish me luck!

Exercising Feels GOOD!

So, does anyone ever remember hearing that working out is supposed to make you feel good and have more energy?  Who are those people?!  Every time I go run, I feel like I'm going to die...really.  My breathing goes all wheezy and I can't stop coughing, my muscles are on fire and I'm sweating like a pig.  So if that is what feeling good is all about you can count me out.  :D

I've decided that I am going to start "trying" to do yoga.  The Riverplex has a beginners yoga class on Tues and Thurs that I'm going to try.  I need to regain some of my lost flexibility.  When I worked in daycare I spent almost all day on the floor or trying(sometimes unsuccessfully) to sit in tiny chairs.

Shorter than these actually.

I know.

Having more flexibility will help in other areas of my life too...

Ahem...

So the bottom line is that

I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!

No matter how crappy I feel while doing it.

Because afterwards, believe it or not, I actually feel good.

It really is amazing.

Gotta run, taking Max to baby gym today.



Fa la la la la...la la la laaaaaaaaaa

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree...

Deck the Halls with ...well, you know right?



I've finally got into the Christmas mood today.  I wrapped presents almost all morning, and then I realized that I had no gift card thingies...oh no!

Soooooo, I had to go to the store.

On the last Saturday before Christmas.

I barely made it out alive.

I left the house at 2 and returned by 4. Not too bad if I do say so myself.  I didn't go to the grocery store though.

I haven't really been in the Christmas spirit this year...I usually have all the shopping done, and the presents wrapped by the beginning of December.  This year, nope.  Life just seemed to smack me in the face!  Christmas is in 7 days!

7 DAYS!

I still have gifts to make, let alone wrap!!!



I took Max to the gym with me on Thurs to see Santa. He walked right up to him and hopped on his lap. No smile though, but no fear either!

Reilly got to see Santa in Chicago too!  She is growing up so much.  I was glad she still wanted to.

Hopefully I will get it all done before the kids get out for break.

If not....

well...

their teachers will have to get something else. 

Merry Christmas!!

I hope it's wonderful.

Water Babies and Fuzzy Boots

I did it!

I joined the Riverplex!

We are now a family that goes to the gym...

I went running on Sat, right after I got the membership...on Sunday I was so sore that it was hard to walk at work.  I tried to jog everywhere, but then people thought something bad was happening.

I took Max on Monday morning, and then when it was time to leave, he screamed like he was being murdered!  It was too funny.  I guess I'm at least happy that he likes it.  Today when we went to Toddler gym he tried to go to the babysitting afterwards.  I totally would have, but I def was not dressed to work out.  Skirts and leggings with fuzzy boots are not conducive to running.  We are going to go as a family tonight.  Swimming fun for all!

Look how much fun they all have in the pool!  This was taken on Father's Day this year.  We really need a bigger pool!

I think maybe I will go jog tonight while my kids swim.  I don't feel like I am really working out when I'm in the pool.  It's also easier with one less swimsuit and towel to lug around.  And...bonus, I'm not as sore today!  :D