...where I share my life, craftiness and eating habits with the world...

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Fat A**

I was at work yesterday and I was thinking about my life. About my lifelong struggle with fatness.
In Jr. High I was fat.
As a teen I was fat.
In my 20's I was fat.
I've just always been fat.
As they say, I ate my feelings.
(I must have had a lot of feelings.)
It has always been within my power to change.
I just don't.
I like food way to much.
I feel like my life is pretty much on it's downward spiral.  I'm going to be 35 this year, and I'm married and I have 2 children.  Growing up it always seemed like being fat kept me from the things I should have experienced as a teen and/or a 20 something.

When I was younger it never occurred to me that guys could actually like fat girls.  I always felt like I had to lose weight in order to get what I thought I wanted.  In the end I did finally get some boyfriends, and ended up having kids.
Go figure...
(Really f-ed up self esteem too.)
So now, on the downward spiral why should I bother trying to lose weight?  Nothing is going to change.
My health is screwed up, I eat too much because I like food, and I still eat my feelings.
(Just not as many.)
I guess I'm trying to set a good example for my children, but sometimes I just like food more. 
So here is my
Question of the Day:
Persevere or Quit?