no,no,no...

No Eating Allowed Here

I am so on the downward spiral.  I feel like I'm just not motivated anymore.  I don't want to run, or eat right or anything.  I just see food and eat it.  It's very depressing.  I hope I haven't gained any of the weight back that I lost.  That would be a complete failure.  I feel very defeated right now.  It is so hard to eat right when my house is full of crap.  He actually told me that he was happy the way he is.  I'm repeating myself I know, but I just can't believe that is actually true.  I have all these things at my disposal, but when I get home at night it is too late to go running, and before I go to work there is just too much stuff to do.  My house is never clean, the laundry is never done, there is too much, too much, too much...  I even fell on my way into work yesterday.  I couldn't find my green crocs, and I had stepped in dog crap in the pink ones, so I wore some older shoes in to work.  I was walking along, minding my own business and splat...right on my face.  I fell right out of my shoes.  I turned to look and they were sitting there like that was where I had left them.  It was surreal.  Now my knee and wrists kill, and I'm sore everywhere.  I'm so very frustrated...and now the sink is leaking.  It really feels like I will never get ahead.  I have the best intentions, then I get stressed and my coping mechanisms are eating and shopping.  Which are the the two things that I do not need to do anymore.  Maybe I will begin again tomorrow.  I'm not even going to tell you what I've been eating...it would probably appall you.  It does me.  :(   Here's to de-cluttering and de-stressing my life.  Let's hope it works...